Friday, August 02, 2013

Don't Bend Over In Front Of A Frisky Cow

Innocently Munching Grass
Well a funny thing happened to me yesterday. While attempting to free two entangled, tethered dairy animals (Milk cow and goat) I made the mistake of bending over for too long in front of our cow Maude. She is a heifer if you want to be technical I suppose since she's not yet calved.  I don't know if she is in heat or just felt frisky but she decided to up and mount me. I guess my backside must be similar in size to a young cow and she stared at it too long while I was bent over working on my knots and such that had become tangled. Nana just happened to be watching while it happened but wasn't lucky enough to have her camera handy. It was a sight I am sure. I am bent over and the next thing I know is something whacked me in the back/side of the head and then is on my back. I stood up with a quickness and she went right with me, her manure covered hooves straddling either side of me, one on my chest and one of my back. She was straight up in the air, probably 7 feet tall standing on her back legs. I gave her a push and she stepped back and went back to all fours thankfully. I looked up towards the back porch where Nana usually sits and surveys us doing our evening chores and asked, "Did you see that?!" And she cackled in her coarse, throaty cough "Yeah, but I didn't have my camera on me!"

I will definitely have to remember not to bend over in front of her in the future since she should breach the 1100 pound mark before all is said and done. I finished my chores covered in cow manure constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't going to be involuntarily mounted by a 400 pound heifer. It seemed like a good time to put the cowbell Nana bought for Maude on her collar; so I did that next so that I could at least hear a clanking to know if she was coming for me or not...

This is what happens when tethered too close to the playhouse.
 I love this cow, but she could be a nuisance if left unchecked, lol. Lately she has taken to trying to butt heads with Mace our little Nigerian Dwarf Buckling who weighs about 35 pounds. You can imagine how that goes.

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Yours Truly,
The Crowsons